| The Who I am Post |
[Jun. 16th, 2020|12:45 pm] |
I am the girl who sits in the back of the classroom in high school, wearing the dark colored outfits, and can't be bothered to care. I am the one who skips most of my junior year of high school, with forged signatures from my father, because I want to live life and not be stuck in some boring school learning useless things. I am the one who questions the system that is public schools in a county known for the best public school around. I am the one fighting for real life common sense skills to be taught instead of things that you will never use.
I am the devil's advocate sitting on your shoulder questioning all that you believe and hold real. I am the doubting Thomas wanting the proof. I am the girl shaking all your foundations and opening your eyes to new possiblities. I am the one seeing all the things that never was and screaming why not. Don't come to me with your narrow eyed view of how the world should be, because I will smash the blinders that you wear and leave you crying in the dust.
I am the girl who will allow you to break her heart, if it will make you happy and I call you friend. I'm the one who will forgive, but never forget. I can be the girl who uses her words to cut you like knives. But I can also be the girl who will defend you with my last breath. It all depends on how I see you.
I am the enigma that you will never be able to figure out. I'll tell lies to make your world shiny. I'll tell the truth to help you grow. I am the saint and the sinner. I am imperfection in all it's perfection. I am the lover of beauty and the knower of hate. I am the one who speaks out against prejudicism and racism, because I've faced both.
I am the woman teaching a part of the new generation on how to live. I am seeing my own eyes and soul reflected in yet another youth. I am the one praying to some higher being above that I won't make the same mistakes that my parents made. That I can teach the harsh lessons of life in the easiest way possible.
I am the one struggling against the chains of reality. Bound by a destiny that I can't see. I am the soul crying out in the darkness asking for the light. I am the voice that most won't hear.
I am the human with this all too fragile shell with the soul of lifetimes. I am the laughter of a child. I am the ocean and the sky, never ending. I am eternity with the words I speak that not even death can silence.
Most of all, I am simply who I am. |
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| It's been awhile... |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
I've been so busy and so lost in my own thoughts that I've just haven't been around lately. I apologize. Sometimes I have to take things and just be silent for awhile. Make all the things connect in my world again, I guess.
I started a new job. 10 am - 7 pm. I'm not too sure if I like these hours or not. It just seems as if I can't do anything in the morning without having to be on the road to drive to work or do anything at night without it being so dang late. Really I am temp to hire, so when I become perm, I might ask for the 9-6 deal instead. Though I do like the little to no traffic in the mornings...
It's not the most brilliant job I've ever had or the most mind provoking one either. It pays pretty decently and the people are okay to work with. Well, they are okay as co-workers. Not sure if I would want them to be bestest of friends in my life. Can't have everything. Anyway, it's not stressful and I seem to be doing okay. We shall see, I guess.
( Long ramble about Katrina & the South that probably means nothing to no one but me... )
Oh, in other news...I saw Orlando at the Franklin, TN Elizabethtown premier. Anyone want pics? Drop me a line. |
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| *sigh* |
[Jul. 26th, 2005|12:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
The fic from hell is now at long last posted. I'm only how many hours behind schedule? *sigh*
Note to self. If things can go wrong, they will. Count on food poisioning/stomach virius from Friday and lingering on like a bad houseguest. Count on kid getting same thing. Count on work begging you to work OT and you being the gentle hearted person saying yes. Count on long distance friend calling you on her dime to talk about HP and not having the heart to tell her that you are trying to rework a fic at the last minute. Count on stupid internet service flipping in and out so much that you can't tell if you are online or not. Count on A/C going out and making you even more miserable. Count on lunch hour and a pocket PC are just not gonna cut it in reworking a way long fic. Count on you being tired and making a stupid mistake that posts whole part 2 and being lucky enough to go back and see it and still have that window up to correct it.
Yep. Please note self that life does happen. Plan earlier next time.
Now to bed. To bed. To bed. So I don't fall asleep over my computer at work tomorrow. Proof reading is nice but boring as hell.
Please note that icon is really for myself. Sometimes you just need to eat grass. |
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| You've got to be kidding... |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|10:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
My gal in England is okay. A little shook up and a long story behind it all that's half miracle and half "it could only happen to you". A series of mishaps and clothing indecision prevented her from being in all that. Hopefully in Nov, she's gonna get a huge hug. She's already got the lecture.
Apparently while I have been frittering my time away lost in reading, listening to an almost 3 year old have tantrum after tantrum, and doing general stress and angst and joy that comes from the world outside the internet...the fandom seems to have imploded. Um. Not really sure what to say. For those whose friend left, you have my heart felt wishes that everything goes better with your friend. Um...as for the rest of my flist...*hugs*
Apparently once the rag magazines get over there Bennifer luv, I might have some lovely Orlando gossip to read about. *sigh* Well, if nothing else standing in long lines waiting to get checked out at the grocery store will be entertaining. Always good to keep up with the celebs. Where else will I find people dressed like they are homeless and they paid a fortune for the outfit? Ah. Get money and apparently the stupidity factor rises. :) Seriously, if the walking skeleton is preggers, I'm voting that it's Brad Pitt's baby. She was one of the ones going around offering to carry his luv child via a shirt.
I perhaps may have some luck in getting a perm job again! Went to new temp job and apparently they need people. The job is not hard. Proofreading and cleaning up some writing. Clicking on where to send the info. Um. That's really about it. So, maybe they will like me and I'll like them and it'll all work out. If nothing else, it seems that I'll be there for awhile. Pretty good hours 10am - 7pm. Pretty good pay. Okay, better than pretty good pay. All my friends are going, "You will be making that much for doing next to nothing??" Plus room for growth, as company is apparently growing in leaps and bounds. Okay. I know there is gonna be a catch somewhere... So, not holding breath. I kinda like temping, so won't cry if don't get it.
The reason I like temping...I get to meet interesting people. Like the guy who was training me today. He reminds me of Orlando. Somewhat in personality, somewhat in looks. Very very lovely. He is also in a local band with some degree of local fame. He is the singer and also the songwriter of said band. Very sweet.
So, off tomorrow to my temp job. Then perhaps this weekend to see friends. Maybe a movie or two. Or sleep. I can always use sleep. Or catch up on my online reading. Oh, yeah. There will be that new HP book...well that won't take long to read. |
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| When there is nothing to say... |
[Jul. 9th, 2005|05:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I've been quiet for several reasons. I worked a temp job that had my days and nights mixed up so badly that all I have done is sleep and work. The other reason is much more closer to heart.
I have several wonderful friends that I have met via the internet. One lives in Japan. Another in NYC. Another in Liverpool. While I have yet to meet my friend in Japan (not for a lack of trying). I have met my friends in NYC and Liverpool several times via vacation. My Japanese friend is my muse in so many ways. I am always trying to see the world thru her eyes. My NYC friend is my bitch and snark partner. She's my girlfriend that I have to spend far apart from, because we'd kill one another if left together for too long. My Liverpool friend is my drinking buddy. Give us a pool and a few girly drinks under the hot Florida sun and we will be living the high life. We also love teaching the other one how to talk "properly". A few days with her and I'm using British words in a Southern accent and she... Well... I think the only thing more amusing would be if Orlando tried speaking in a Southern accent.
On 9/11, I watched NYC suffer a blow that would forever change the NYC I knew. I spent hours on the phone trying desperately to get my NYC friend on the phone. Every report that I heard on the news made me cringe. I cannot describe how I felt, but I know that I would not wish it on anyone. I was one of the lucky ones. My NYC friend was safe. Shook up and dazed, but safe. My heart went out to all those who were not lucky on that day.
Now, yet again, I am in that same situation. My Liverpool friend was headed into London to visit some friends. She knows that I'm a HP fan, so she promised me to get some pictures of some HP sights, which included King's Cross Station. I haven't heard from her and... I just don't know. Hopefully I'll be able to contact her tomorrow, when she's supposed to be back at home. Hopefully she just got caught up in seeing old friends and all the events that she just forgot that there are others worried about her. Because what can one do but hope.
I cannot understand how anyone could participate in such violence. How anyone could hate another person so much because of their race, religion, or even sexuality. Because all that happened was a hate crime. It was not a war with soldiers fighting soldiers. It was just a matter of hating someone enough to kill them. Why? Because they didn't act or think or believe like them?
I've strugged for answers to what makes a person be like this. How anyone could twist any religion around to justify hatred. But mostly...I just pray to some higher being that not even them will ever have to suffer the not knowing of did a loved one get killed because of someone's hatred. |
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| Random Nonsense |
[Jun. 30th, 2005|12:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hot | ] |
I remember now why I haven't done icons in a long long time. 4am arguements with self of does "pic x" or "pic x1" look better. I think I am the only one who would be able to tell the difference between the two. Also, self doubts come in with lack of sleep. "Maybe I should trash them all..." Much easier to take pics I like, gray scale them, then slap my name on there. Also, much more sleep and less self angst.
Will bring out the electronic sound thingys to get rid of bug invasion. Last night ants. This morning wasp from hell. Can't they find somewhere else to go...like outside?
Finally got DVD player to work. Many headaches and much tension. Now may enjoy all the DVDs on computer once again. Still...must get portable DVD player back from cousin soon. Will be visiting friend and need movies to watch while at hotel and wanting to be lazy.
I hate and loathe and despise pine trees, especially those near a house. Or to be more specific, those near a deck. Been outside digging out pine needles and crud from between the deck slats, so the deck can be painted. Stupid idea to have painted the deck in the first place. Not sure which will look worse. Mother's idea of barn red or brother's idea of pale green. *sigh*
Weather outside will be 100F today. Inside temp...lucky to get 80F with A/C and ceiling fans going full blast. Must win lotto and move to somewhere cooler for the summer or at least to beach condo to enjoy tranquility of ocean waves.
"No going to bed with TV and instead new nightlights" for the kid experiment was met with mixed results. Kid suggests in his all almost 3 year old wisdom that another nightlight will meet with better results. Will try again tonight to see if experiment meets with the same results as last night. If so, then will buy new nightlight. Apparently new nightlights and $6.00 colorful blinking flashlight was not enough money spent.
Do not wish to clean and wash clothes. Wish to spend day by some sparkling pool with scantily clad gay boys bringing me "girly" drinks and watching them make out. Must bargin for better deal for the next life time. |
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| This and that... |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|12:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | When You Say Nothing At All by Keith Whitley | ] |
It's late and I really should be in bed for another day of brat kid and dust. Yes, it's summer cleaning! So, I'm late...sue me. Well, don't. Because really all I have to offer is well... nothing. *hides DVD collection and Ipod and Pocket PC -because who really needs those things*
My father told me today that I was going to jail. I looked at him with that one eyebrow raised in question and waved my hand in that universal symbol for go on. Apparently my massive Mp3 collection is once again to blame. So, if you see a girl with a Southern drawl on CNN yelling that she wouldn't download music if the record companies didn't give us so much crap music and more tracks for our CDS and the majority of the songs were either on the radio or CDs that I am too lazy to rip...that will be me.
Watched the Elizabethtown trailers. The music video type one really hit home. Damn Elton John for that song I haven't heard in many a year. I just know this movie is going to make me cry. Especially if I hear that song.
Saw a few things on my flist. So, here is my answers, short form.
Who I would do/shag/snog/find attractive (in alphabetical order):
Anastacia. Orlando Bloom. Joey Fatone. Angelina Jolie.
Viggo Mortensen. Craig Parker. Keanu Reeves. Richie Sambora.
Chip Skylark. David Wenham.
So, why did I pick them? There is something about all of them that makes them unique in my eyes. From how they are in reality to someone they may have played. I'm actually more concerned for the fact that I added an animated character in the pile...
My V/O song choice(s) - minus lyrics for now:
You Owe Me Nothing by Alanis. I'll Be Your Secret by Tim James.
Father Figure by George Michael. I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders.
I Dreamed You by Anastacia. Wish by Billy Falcon.
Valentine by Jim Brickman and Martina McBride.
I Envy the Wind and Essence both by Lucinda Williams.
But the song that I really think fits them the most?
When You Say Nothing at All by Keith Whitley (who sang it first)
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
Chorus:
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
But you say it best when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine
(Chorus twice) |
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| Just another day in paradise. |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|08:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lazy | ] |
As I re-read the last post, I thought, maybe I should write an apology or something for it. It was awfully cynical at the world. But I won't. It might have been less cynical if I had not talked to E beforehand, but eh...what can I say? I become the jaded New Yawker around her. :) I did tell E last night that I truly have enough drama in my life without adding to it. So, even though I do hope Orlando and Viggo find the happiness that makes them the happiest, I cannot truly find it in my heart to care one way or the other about what they do in their lives. They are all big boys and all that. Anyway, their angst, lies, and twists and turns, as well as their overwhelming friendship makes some great storylines. Truly, I don't think they would be half as interesting if they did have the happy ever after fairy tale life. :)
On to other bits...
It is a wonder that I am not loaded down with acne scars a la Brad Pitt. Okay, that was a bit cold...but oh, well. The thing is that my skin must be a nice tender buffet to bugs. I cannot stand outside without being eaten alive within a matter of minutes, even after spraying Deep Woods Off and I do mean spraying it. So, I've been itchy and all the fun that comes with it over the past few days. I has a bug bite on my finger, that I had to poke and squeeze at. Why? Because if it hurts, then it doesn't itch. I can handle pain better than I can itching. Well, I may have poked and squeezed a bit too much, because it was starting to become a habit. My mother sees what I'm doing, yanks my hand away from my other hand, and next thing I know...I'm wearing a bandage and between the cream and the pressure...it burns. Ah, well. Never could leave well enough alone.
Slash has invaded my dreams! From Orlando twins to Viggo doing a fangirl squeal. To mysterious men and their not quite that innocent attractions. To twisted love affairs. To... Well, no one really needs to know that dream. It was just plain weird. Is this the punishment the gods have sent upon me for being so snarky? I surrender and will bow to the forever happily ever after love. Or not. Because really, how could I have wrote that Paris/Achilles fic otherwise.
Read the most twisted, screwed up story last night. It was Viggo/Orlando/Elijah. Except it wasn't a threesome. It was darkly beautiful and in the end you really don't know who to pity the most. It was the type of writing I wish I could do. The dream/nightmare quality. The imagery and symbolism. The subtle hints of happiness that once was to make the reader hurt just as bad as the three of them. I don't think it really worked for this fandom though, because it's hard to picture any of the three acting like they did in that story. It would be great in the HP fandom, with all it's dark angles. I told E that it wasn't the people that left me in awe, but the words and how they were put together. I'm still all...at a loss for words, I guess. Stunned. Damn.
So much to do today and I really don't want to do it. I guess I didn't win the Powerball, because my mother didn't wake me up. Alas, I can only try again. One day I will have my beach condo in SoBe. |
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| Let's play a little game.. |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|09:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
You take an up and coming actor, who has a few gay stories floating around about him. The gay community says the actor is gay, because word spreads fast on that grapevine.
Take one of the hardest hitting PR firm around. This PR firm plays hard ball and if you don't do as they say? Well, all of a sudden you don't get interviews with their list of clients who reads more like a who's who in Hollywood (and who did bust Premier magazine's balls a bit back for over two months because of a not so nice review they wrote about a movie that one of their clients was in). The whole mantra at this firm is "Less is more." Keep the stars in mystery and keep the fans guessing. Stars get bigger and they add more up and coming stars to their payroll. They do their jobs and they do it well. Also, this PR firm is well known in the gay industry for bringing their gay or bi-sexual stars to the masses.
This up and coming actor signs up with this PR firm. They immediately get to work. All stories about said actor being gay are gone. Now they are unproven rumors. A study is done and finds this actor appeals to a younger generation, the teenies. As anyone in the business knows, tweenies and teenies are the biggest moneymakers of them all. The age of 11-18 are the biggest spenders of music, movies, and products. Well, good PR knows that this group won't accept the gay or bi-sexual bits of their up and coming star. So, they sit down with the actor and have a talk. Tell the actor, this is the way the game is played if you want to be a huge star. You can do what you like in private, but in public, you play it straight. Since the up and coming actor isn't stupid and knows all about the secret Hollywood gay set, who in public pretends to be straight - he agrees.
A time of being single is fine, but when those nasty gay rumors hit again, it's time to bring out the big guns. Find an up and coming starlet and have them date. Prove to the tweens and teens that their boy is 101% hetro.
With me so far? Good.
Now there are several ways to get your career a big jumpstart in Hollywood. Actors need that jumpstart when their career looks a little stale, a few bad movies, or just to get ahead. Contraversy gets people talking. Rehab is good. Tell all books are nice. But what really gets people talking is unexpected marriages. Hollywood was built on fairy tales and a fairy tale romance is perfect.
So, on the advice of the PR, up and coming actor marries up and coming starlet. But wait, it doesn't go quite as well as everyone thought. So, what to do next? Why have a hot and heavy romance with your co-star! That really gets the people talking and buying. A quiet divorice from up and coming starlet and marriage to co-star.
Now the career is smoking! Awards come in like clockwork. Apparently the pretty boy can act! Suddenly the actor isn't a pretty boy who can't act, but rather the talented man of his generation. He's the next Marlon Brando! The next James Dean! He is Hollywood.
Of course, the spotlight fades. The wife is doing better. The latest movies that the actor is doing isn't all that. So, time to do that jumpstart again. And the ball rolls on.
Sound familar? It should. It's not Orlando Bloom, but rather Tom Cruise. Odd enough, both have used the same PR firm - PMK. I've been around the business of fame long enough. I've seen what goes on in quite a few famous people's private lives. It's not the same that's sold to the world. The deal is when you become famous, you make a deal with the devil. Your life no longer becomes your own. Every action is analyzed with a fine tooth comb. To paraphase and misquote Viggo, it's a business about lying.
So, is what happened to old Tommy boy gonna happen the same way to Orlando? I don't know. The odds are there and I don't think I will be beting against the house. However, it's all a matter of choice. Does Orlando have that same drive and need that Tom did? How much is Orlando willing to hide or give up? Is the public now the same as it was in the 80's? Are we less homophobic? Can a leading male actor be gay and nobody care?
The important lesson doesn't lie in Orlando's choices, but rather our own. It's what we teach our kids and what we teach others. It is on our money that Hollywood runs. It's our opinions that count. If there are enough voices, they will be heard.
Right now? Hollywood thinks our ideal is pretty leading men who are hetrosexual with hints of maybe being bi. Our leading ladies are ones who look so thin they could break and younger by the minute. We do it all to ourselves. How many of us are on diets and slathering on moisturizer at night? We teach it to our daughters and sons that youth and beauty is everything. We teach it to others.
I do it all, too. I admit it. Yeah, I like the famous guys to be more bi than gay, because I would get the best of both worlds. Yeah, I wish I was thinner and had a few less lines around my eyes. I don't speak loud enough to Hollywood and let them know that really, they are going to far. I'm only human.
But sometimes...I wish I was blind, because then everyone would look the same. |
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| Things to do today... |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|11:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
1. Paint Viggo's hands using different colored Indian inks. Maybe a few designs and some words. That way Viggo can truly have artistic hands.
2. Instruct Kate and Orlando on how lovers should hold one another. Orlando, you are not Fabio. Kate, you are not the fiesty damsel in distress. You both are not posing for the cover of some thick romance novel. That is, if those pictures are recent and not something that some photographer pulled out from the first PotC movie, which these tabloids and all have done before.
3. Burn Razzle's icon of the elf boots, because every time I see that I keep wondering why Orlando is wearing a dress. Not that he would look bad in a dress, but elf boots and a dress? Tacky! Yes, I do know it is Kate, but my brain insists that it is Orlando in a dress.
4. Make snarky icons.
5. Make a dent in all the reading I need to do.
6. Become Orlando's professional girlfriend. I could secretly send code back to all the slashers of whom Orlando slept with that night. How many times Orlando called one of his boys. Did they have phone sex. Things like that. The slashers could write more, which in turn would cause the PR people to work harder, which in turn would cause Orlando to do more movies because of all this increased popularity, which in turn would start the circle all over again. Everyone's happy because the machine is working.
7. Debate with E on what control issues that Kate has. Since most eating disorders are caused by control issues. Also, find out from E more about this agency.
8. Write a Super!TJ story who solves crimes, eliminates stalkers, and shares his experiences of having gay owners to cheer a sick new friend up. :)
9. In between all this on my hectic day - entertain the kid, wash some clothes, and try to do a little cleaning. Maybe write a bit of slash.
10. Or say the heck with it all and go back to bed. |
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| Waiting... |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|01:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
Forgot to take my meds this morning, so now I'm sitting here smelling my food and I have to wait another 30 minutes before I can eat. Also, feeling a bit itchy due to some bug bites, so to take my mind off food and wanting to claw my skin off, I'll spam my journal.
Saw the Star Wars III movie yesterday with Dad. He was the one who took me to the original ones, so thought I would return the favor for Dad's Day. We both agreed that the original Star Wars were much better. Well, those Ewoks were pushing it, but at least they were done with real actors and not CGI junk. Dad and I both commented did they want Ani to go dark, because everyone who was like going oh, it will be bad if he goes dark had their hand on Ani's back and was shoving him right into the dark side. I knew that evil guy was evil back when I was drug into the first movie of this new series. There was just something about him that screamed evil. I wasn't overly thrilled with the storyline and the directing. If we had just seen Ani's face as he killed those Jedi youths and heard his breathing, it would have just been a hard sucker punch of how dark he was going. I did cry, but only because of why Ani went dark. He did it out of love. That whole bit of wanting to take over the world was a bit stupid and could've been wrote out. Highlight the whole, "I went dark to save you bit" more and it would have been more powerful and heart wrenching. Then you could've added in the whole "You killed youthlings to save me? Would you have killed our unborn child to save me?" George Lucas apparently is too much of a macho guy to even think about feelings and emotions.
But, all in all, it did make Star Wars VI make more sense and give new meaning. Also, it had Chewie! And "I am too awesome for this movie so let me go live in the swamps" Yoda.
Did see the Chronicles of Narnia trailer! Dad is the reason I saw Star Wars, and Mom will be the reason I see The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. My heart almost stopped in excitement. December will find me plopped in the movie theater, with eyes glued to the screen. :) Of course, this is after seeing HP probably a zillion times in November, because it's the 4th and that book was the best so far. I hope it comes out in early November, so I can see it in NYC with E for her birthday.
I should watch some of my DVDs. I do own enough to probably buy a house. And some are still in their shrink wrap. I should write them down to just see how many I do own...
Eh, it's close enough time where I can eat. |
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| I shouldn't have done that... |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|08:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
Did grab the kid and go out. To the bank to deposit the check. Then buy a few groceries. And a few DVDs in the used DVD place. Of course, the kid had to have his own DVD. Eh, it was a buy 3, get one free sale. So one of us got a free DVD. Sadly, they didn't have the DVDs I was looking for. Off to Media Play. Sat in traffic forever and ever. Should've called, because they didn't have them either. All that time in the car for nothing. So, off to get food for the family at Sonic. While waiting read one of Dad's gossip mags for entertainment.
Did come across Orlando got asked to star in a porn movie. Apparently some girl didn't know who Orlando was and thought he was good looking offered to pay him to star with her in the porn flick. Well, he turned her down and ran for the hills, but not after she slipped him her card in case he changed his mind. Poor baby probably ran from Venice Beach all the way to Viggo's house for a little comfort. :) Not only not recognized, but also asked to star in a porno with a girl. Oh, the angst.
Anyway. Now having to order off internet and ebay for movies. Damn OOP movies. Why? Kid fed and taking nap. Cat, I think was fed. Will have to check again. Me? Loaded baked potato salad and coconut cream pie shake so does not mix.
I swear the kid is a cross between Orlando and Viggo. Cute as a puppy like Orlando, with all that charm to get his way with complete strangers. Very into art, poetry and singing. Do hope his voice becomes better, because he has to join boy band and outsell Justin Timberlake. It's just a matter of pride. Sang at the top of his lungs to the White Stripes version of Jolene in the car. Most certainly doing the method acting version of singing. |
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| *crosses eyes* |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|02:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
Yes. I am apparently spamming my own journal. I have things to do and all I can do is sit here and find things about Viggo. Ah, well. The clothes will be wrinkled. The cat and the kid will get fed late. I'll probably save the shopping for another day. The cousin will get ignored. The phone repair people will never get called. It's all really about priorities...
Q: What do you think makes you sexy?
VM: I don’t really know how to deal with that question. I’m sure that there’s just as many people who think I’m a grizzled hack.
Q: I guess Brad Pitt’s the pretty boy type of hunk and you’re the, you know . . .
VM: . . . the grizzled hack version? Do you think we should play brothers or something?
Q: You should.
VM: Or lovers?
Q: Maybe lovers. Yeah.
VM: You think people would pay to see that?
From Premier Magazine.
No, Viggo. I will not pay to see you be lovers with Brad Pitt. Because Brad is just ew. Especially since he apparently is now with Angelina. *cries* How could Angelina do this? I wanted to help her raise her adorable kid. I wanted to go save the world with her. Wah! You just can't be with Brad! He is the man that single handedly ruined the whole legend that is Achilles. He brought hetrosexuality to that whole time period. I can forgive you, Angelina for being in that horror that was Alexander. However, I cannot accept you dating Brad. At least pick someone as beautiful as you are. Like Orlando. He would have been more believable in wanting to save the world with you. I could have been cool with that, even if you are tearing him away from the arms of his one and only true *fangirl squeal* love, Viggo. Heh. I'm sure Viggo wouldn't have minded either. ;)
But back to my point. Now, if it was Viggo and Orlando protraying lovers? I think I might donate the bratty 2.5 year old kid of mine. They'd give him back anyway. In less than an hour. :) Of course, this is after I had been melted into a puddle of goo by the vision of it up on a screen larger than life. By thinking of the method acting and rehersals that Viggo likes to do. By thinking of what could be on the director's cut of the DVDs. By remembering all the rumors that Viggo's acting with Gwyneth caused - they blamed Viggo for breaking up Gwyneth with Brad after viewing those steamy scenes in A Perfect Murder.
Oh, yeah. I bet there would be a lot of donating of kids and college funds to the cause. |
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| Oh, so perfect. |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|01:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
"There's no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there is no excuse for boredom, ever.
"Of course, Henry says, 'Yeah, well, Dad, if you were in my science class you'd know what it is to be bored.' I guess that's something a little different."
As quoted by Alex Kuczynski in Vanity Fair, "Finding Viggo"
January 1, 2004
This is such a perfect father/son interaction. I know some in the fandom either dislike Henry, think he's a brat, obnoxious, or what have you. Some even poke fun at the kid.
But it's not what we see that matters. It's what his father sees that matters. Viggo, probably like most parents, sees Henry with those overwhelming mixture of feelings that just cannot be sorted out. I have a kid and every night when I go to make sure he's tucked in, I'm so overwhelmed by these feelings that I want to cry. Because I know that looking at him, I've found the one person that can truly break my heart and heal it all at once.
So, here's Viggo with all the answers in the world right at his fingertips and Henry comes along and shatters it all to hell. Our viewpoints change the older we get. We no longer see with the same eyes as we did in our youth. That's why kids are so perfect at giving us a different viewpoint. Reminding us of what we used to see.
I just want to take Henry and squeeze the stuffing out of him in that totally embarassing parent way that every kid hates and loves. He probably hasn't had the easiest time having such artistic parents that were cool and famous, yet not famous. I bet he has all these girls coming up to him and being all nice because they want Orlando's number. Probably hates being compared to his Dad, when he looks so much like his Mom. Probably wants to hide or shove the camera up his Dad's nose, because really what kid wants just one more picture taken of them during those teenage years.
I just want to see just one story with how I see Henry. Not this perfect kid, but neither this obnoxious one either. One who apparently Orlando likes and Viggo loves. If nothing else, Orlando is a smart one, he knows the way to any parent's heart is to win over the kid. :) |
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| Of comic books and vampires and things... |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|02:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | West End Girls - disco remix by Pet Shop Boys | ] |
When I was a very wee girl, I grew up on comic books, horror movies and romance books that I took from my mother. When other kids around me were gonna be Jedis, doctors, and firemen, I dreamed of being a romance writer. I was going to be the best selling Harliquin romance author ever. I was going to marry a rock star that wore make up and have 10 cats, who all were like my Topaz. In my spare time, I was going to be an artist for comic books and act in vampire movies as the girl who got bit and I would show them all how it should be done. To top it off, I was going to richer than Richie Rich. I was going to have the teenage years like Veronica and Betty did in the Archies. I was just waiting for my superpower to kick in, so I could be in the X-Men. And before I married my rock star, I was going to have a passionate affair with Batman and he would always mourn me for being the one that got away. Even if I wasn't quite sure what that passionate affair involved doing.
Yes, I was the book worm who was dreaming of a life to come. I was the wee girl telling all my relatives stories when I could string a sentence together. I was the girl who mourned that she would be too old to marry Luke in Star Wars, but quickly dreamed that she could be his Momma, until she found out that Darth Vader was his father in the second movie, so that was a big ew, gross, and no way.
Sadly, none of that ever happened. At least not yet. I still have time to marry the rock star, have the 10 cats and have my mutant superpower kick in. I want to be the one that makes gay romance books popular. I can't draw even a stick figure worth a damn. Though I bet I could still show how a girl should act when she got bit by a vampire. ;)
So, in honor of my misguided childhood that was spent more time in dream land, I put together the following.
( What I've Learned from the X-Men by Gambit )
( A Quick Look at the Almighty Christopher Lee )
( Why Orlando should be Gambit in X-Men 3 )
( The Batman movie they should've made ) |
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| *ponders* |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|03:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Want Your Sex - George Michael | ] |
As I was talking to E, my NYC girl, over the phone, we had one of our rambling discussions. As, I am like the most unknowing person when it comes to events in the world, I depend on my friends to keep me ahead of the game. They tell me important things or ask about things (which usually winds up with me tucking the cordless phone between my shoulder and ear and looking up something via Google). I rarely turn on the TV, as I am too busy reading, writing, or just other things. I haven't been fascinated by TV since I was 9. DVDs? I eat them up like they were candy. To tell you how out of touch of the world I'm in... I didn't realize that Daylight Savings had hit until I showed up to work on that Monday an hour earlier and wondered where everyone was at. I called up my friends to ask why they didn't tell me. The following conversation happened with each one of them.
Me: Why didn't you tell me Daylight Savings had arrived. I showed up to work an hour early!
Them: You didn't hear it on TV? Never mind, forgot you don't watch TV. What about the radio? Forgot, you don't listen to the radio. Well, the newspaper? Forgot, you only read the comics. Damn it, guess I forgot.
So, I was asking E why she didn't give me the lowdown on the Fussy and Gussy bit, because seriously she's where I get all my low down on the gossip. Because she knows I'm always interested in pretty boy stuff. Apparently it had caused her a bit of trauma when she passed it on to a board. Something about tinhats and gay boys and angst everywhere. She said it wasn't really about Viggo and Orlando, but rather about Ewan and Hayden. Then lately everything with her is about them two. And somehow I got blamed for her getting into Star Wars slash. I'm still like what? I liked the first three movies that I saw in the movie theater (showing my age, am I not?). I think George Lucas has lost his mind and went CGI crazy in these latest ones. I loathe them with the depths of my soul and loathe George for what he did to the DVDs of the original three. I snarled that I was not to blame for her current loss of sense.
I'll pull her into the Viggo/Orlando love sooner or later. I pulled her into the HP slash fandom. Got her to like the Paris/Achilles love (except when Brad Pitt is Achilles - but that's fine because I'm like that too). I just need to get her liking Viggo. Shouldn't be that hard. I'm drawing her into the Orlando love step by step.
Did come across this bit while looking for something about Orlando for her. Which sparked a lively conversation. Orlando talks about Viggo...
"The last time I saw Viggo, we were supposed to go to some supercool club, but there was no way I was going to get Viggo to do that, and I couldn't really be bothered myself. So we went to some dingy little pub, and then we just bought a six-pack and sat in the park and chatted."
Supercool club means gay club, of course. Sat in the park and chatted? Oh, really. Couldn't go to either one's dwelling at the moment, or sit in a car, or by a hotel pool, or something a bit less parkish? Was it just too far away or something? Because the only people who meet at night in parks from TN to NYC is not the ones drinking a six pack and chatting. There is some chatting going on, most certainly, but more along the lines of, "Yes. More. Harder. Faster. There. Oh, I see fireworks." Words, of course, all interchangeable with words of own personal usage. And did I forget to mention that it's always a known gay hangout? Think quick...famous person caught exposing himself in a park bathroom circa 1998 and outed himself right out of the gay closet...
So, I may be some hick girl from Nashville, TN, but I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. Not sure if Orlando is fucking Viggo like a rabbit (or vice versa depending on your thoughts on the subject), but can we come up with a little something less gay suggestive? And, also, Orlando baby, it might help your public believe that you are 100% hetro if you quit using those non-gender specific terms in interviews. My lover can mean boy, girl, dog, or fave toy of the day.
Really, sometimes it's just too easy to see the slash. |
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| Whoo hoo! |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|05:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the kid singing and calling in the background | ] |
No, I didn't win the lotto. But it draws tonight, so I might have a chance. I think it is at $17 million. I could so live off that. Retire to a beach condo in South Beach, FL and write slash all day. Hey, sounds good to me.
I did get my assignment for the Vigorli thing I signed up for. I think I will ask this person for more ideas, because what they chose has just sparked the muses and they are flowing like mad. Eh, maybe I should whisper that. Knowing my luck they'll commit muse suicide and I'll never get the story finished. I'm already at 2000 words and I haven't got to the main part yet. It was supposed to be romantic humor. Well, there is humor. And Orlando is trying so hard to make it romance, but it's not working.
All my stories seem to be coming from an Orlando point of view. I'm not really sure why. I'm not British. I am so not so beautiful that I make angels weep. I probaby could make Viggo look sane. Okay, I know I can make Viggo look sane and normal. Hell, I could probably make Captain Jack Sparrow look sane and normal. Eh, on second hand, no one can make that character look sane and normal. So, not really sure why Orlando speaks to me to give me his point of view. Perhaps I should do research on it.
In other news? I so totally forgot that Viggo dies in A Perfect Murder. Damn you, Michael Douglas. David was too pretty to die! At least so nastily and lingeringly. I knew there was a reason that I haven't bought that movie. Well, at least I got some pretty screen shots.
Watched Young Guns II also last night. So totally forgot that Viggo was in that. Have had that movie forever and a day. Because of all those Bon Jovi fans who couldn't find Jon Bon Jovi in that movie. I screen capped everything way back when and sent it to R, who is heavily involved in that fandom and the LotR fanatic (who would kill me for even thinking of slash with her precious LotR characters and the actors who play them). Saw Jon again. Laughed as he died and flipped. Saw Viggo and all of a sudden remembered sitting back in the movie theater watching Young Guns II and drooling over Viggo. That voice. Eh, I was how old in 1990 wanting to marry Viggo based on his voice alone? Ahem. I was legal enough.
I went happily on watching the movie. Quoting Doc (Kiefer Sutherland - who I also wanted to marry) when he told Billy (the always mouth running Emilio Estevez) that he drove a 15 year old boy straight into his grave and the rest of them straight to hell. Then Doc decides to leave Billy, walks out the door...and Viggo kills him. Whah! Viggo killed Doc! Damn it! Doc was trying to get Billy out of his life and he died. I now remember sitting in the movie theater going, "Wait! That one sexy guy can't kill Doc! Was he jealous that Doc might look better than him?" I should so make an icon using those screen caps. Saying something along the lines of..."Damnit Viggo. You didn't have to kill Doc. He wasn't sexier than Orlando." Because you know Viggo would do away with all contenders, so Orlando could win sexiest man of the world, if Orlando wanted to win such. ;) Yes, my brain goes in strange places...
Ah, well. Back to the insanity that is the story I am writing. And I guess I should feed the kid. And the cat. |
|
|
| Kingdom of Heaven. |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|12:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Internet disconnecting | ] |
Went to see it again. Love and adore that movie. E better send the bootleg soon. Wore my One bracelet and the shirt that I got from Viggo's website. The Support Our Troops one. I'm such a fangirl. I brought a bit of Viggo to Orlando's movie. :)
Got a new external hard drive. 160gb. Wonder how long it will take me to fill this one up. Damn songs and Sims stuff.
Bought way too many DVDs. Will feel the Viggo/Orlando/Keanu/Johnny love over the next few days. Bought first two LotR extended DVDs again. The other ones are playing hide and seek with me. Or I let someone borrow them and forgot. Oh, well.
Internet being a bitch. I need my V/O fix, damn you.
If all else fails...I will watch my new DVDs. A Perfect Murder or the special edition of My Own Private Idaho.
Viggo shirt seems to increase sex appeal. Essence of Orlando in every shirt? Must do research and study this factor more. |
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| Why I read Viggo/Orlando fics.... |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Bloom tells a story that occurred when the Rings crew returned to New Zealand in the summer of 2002 for sound dubbing and pickups for The Two Towers. "I flew over just to visit Viggo," says Bloom, who had heard that Mortensen was organising a reunion dinner. He, Mortensen and Henry, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler (who plays Arwen), and members of the crew took a bus to the countryside. After dinner, Bloom and Henry went for a walk and noticed how beautifully the moon was shining on a nearby river.
"We ran back and said, 'Everyone's got to see this.'" Bloom recalls. "I was having a Viggo moment - running out, getting people to come and check out the moon." Some decided to wade into the river, but Mortensen suggested the more perilous task of crossing the river. "I'm like, 'Fuck off,' and he says, 'Come on.' So were barefoot, waist-high in water, walking on these little rocks to get to the other side and I'm doing it because I'm an idiot and I'm following his lead. Because he's an idiot. And because he's amazing," Bloom laughs. "I can't believe how much this is going to make it sound like I'm in love with the guy."
Orlando Bloom
The Hero Returns, by Tom Roston, Premiere 2003
1. Orlando flew over just to visit Viggo. Flew from who knows where to just visit Viggo. Not see Liv or Ian or the crew. Just to visit Viggo.
2. Orlando and Henry went for a walk and noticed the moon. Is that like a family bonding/step-son moment or what? I don't know Henry, but I can just see him so accepting of whatever his father does. Probably just so happy he has a cool Dad. I can just see Henry just nodding to Viggo and going, "Sure Dad. It's okay if you want to have a relationship with Orlando. He's cool." Then probably dragging Orlando away to talk about his latest crush, because even though Dad's cool...you don't talk to parents about such!
3. How Orlando has a Viggo moment and then places such trust in Viggo to follow his lead. Never mind that it's in the middle of the night. Never mind all the dangers. He just trusts Viggo to be there.
4. How Orlando says Viggo is amazing and an idiot. You know he said that with one of those laughing smiles and a twinkle in his eyes. He sees Viggo's faults and good points and sums it up so clearly.
5. "I can't believe how much this is going to make it sound like I'm in love with the guy." Seriously, who says that and not be at least bi or gay? Or have a crush? Or at least sound like all the above. |
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